I had written about my daily walks to the mailbox at the end of the day, before, but today the act of it saved me.
As I mentioned previously, I’m having a rough week. Things are just really, really hard. Long winter, long unemployment, long bout of being alone, long distance relationship – things just kind of seemed to stack up against me.
But I walked back to Melvin through the upper and then the lower meadow (I know I know! I have mentioned a map before. STILL working on it! I can not draw, and Google Maps does not enlarge to the fine detail needed to map my puny conquered territory. I will make dinner for anyone who volunteers to. Quick! Before the driveway’s muddy again!), and I couldn’t help but have my mood lifted. No mean feat, I may add, as it was 76 degrees yesterday and topped out at 40 today. The weather has been up and down, and really cold at spells, and there the trees were starting to bud. It always comes as a sort of surprise – you know spring is going to get here eventually and then every year the trees spring to life after seeming dead for months, and yet you can never quite believe it when they do. I stood there freezing my ass off and being completely blown away by the sheer survival power in them. And then I fell (again. Twice in two days. This is bullshit.), and almost landed in the biggest clump of wild roses I’ve ever seen, and all I could think was, “I hope I get to see these guys in full bloom!”.
And, I decided, that’s how I feel about this whole farm. And yes, there’s absolutely nothing growing on it yet, but this is a FARM.