Sunday, July 25, 2010

Top 10 Things To Do Before Leaving California - #10

OK. I don't *really* have a list written down and hidden off somewhere, BUT IF I DID - this would be on it, and lower down than you'd think.

Top 10 Things To Do Before Leaving California - #10: Tell off a mid-life crisis asshat in a high performance sports car.

I get it. Highway One is scary. It has curves. It has hills. It has curvy hills, and hilly curves. It takes a long time to get anywhere, but goddamnit it's gorgeous and it's even more gorgeous seen from the window of a car driving the appropriate speed. For me this is in the 57 - 63mph range.

For this guy I was stuck behind yesterday, it was 30. In a Lamborghini. I have often had this thought, but seriously - if you're going to buy a high-performance car, I think it's a shame to not drive it as such. And unfortunately I come across these types of mid-life crisis asshats all the time. They buy these amazing and amazingly expensive cars and then take them for day rides on Highway One, most probably full of some sort of romantic notion of roaring up and down the coast a la James Bond. Except they don't roar, they crawl, and locals like me get stuck behind them when all we want to do is go home. 60 miles later this guy wouldn't use any of the turnouts - my tailgating be damned, apparently - and there must have been 20 cars behind this guy. Had I been that car I would have developed seriously suicidal tendencies and taken over. Kind of like Herbie, but Italian. And not annoying. But I digress.

At Stewarts Point there was an accident blocking the road. We all came to a stop and asshat got out of his car and came up and tapped on my window and asked me to stop tailgating him. I suppressed my rage at his blatant asshattery as much as I could and responded with "you had the balls to write the check, but you don't have the balls to drive the car?"

#10 doth been checked off the list.


Alon said...

I totally agree! As an out-of-town-er to Hwy 1, and an owner of a sporty car, that road is waaaay too fun to drive at anything less than death-defying speeds; even if your shotgun companion has to throw up every other twisty.

caitlinvb said...

I believe, dear one, that is why dramamine was invented. So she passes out :) Can't wait for the last hedonistic weekend! Woot woot!